However, I will attempt to update those interested on the life of the Tylers in New Hampshire.
Lyndon is heading into his second year of medical school on Monday and I am dreading/and not really dreading it at all. Mostly because I can't have Lyndon help me with anything and everything at times I want and then because I'll be happy to have some sort of routine back. AND, last year wasn't bad and I hear the second year won't be either (for ME, not Lyndon). It's third year that I am supposed to hate, so stay tuned...or maybe that's the year you don't want to hear from me due to the excessive complaining I may engage in.
Lyndon just spent the summer doing research on post operative procedures or rather advice given after the procedures in the ophthalmology field; creating a pretty savvy survey for Doctors in this area of medicine to fill out. He can edit this post if I didn't explain it correctly.
I spent time recouping from giving birth to Sydney and figuring out how to make Claire love me again. She loves LOVES Sydney, but is battling me with a new found will of her own. This has been hard for me. I cried the night I was having contractions, not because I was in pain (which I was) but because I was afraid that Claire wouldn't feel as loved or see the separation that having a sibling caused and hate me for it.....(not that I remember feeling that way...but maybe my parents could tell you otherwise when it came to how I treated Richard...). I am getting over the guilt I felt when focusing on Claire more than Sydney or Sydney more than Claire. I want to be with them both at the same time, but that is not always possible.
At my last doctors appointment my Doc essentially told me that it might be good for me to get a job so that I could get a break.I laughed at her reasons (being able to go to the bathroom in peace, not someone hanging on your leg all the time, blah, blah, blah). I could see her point, but never mentioned, "yeah, but did you ever feel that pull to be back home, the guilt, the yearning to know what your kids are doing?" Granted, there are days I'd like to check out, but if there is not a huge financial reason (which there actually is in my case, but bring on the debt I say!) then, I'd rather be at home, and I know other family members feel that way right now, who have to work. Besides, there were days at work that I really wished I could check out of and be at home...a lot of days like that in fact.
But back to the rest of us and not just me. We are excited for another year in New Hampshire. We love it here. Love the people, love the school, love the community, love it. Hate the cold, but love the large amounts of snow that come with it and everything else. Life is good.
17 comments:
Cute Family... I couldn't agree with you more, home is where you should be. I stop and think sometimes of how much easier it would be to go to work, but I can't even imagine missing out on my kids. I felt the same way when I had Jade almost guilty that I had hurt Cash and ruined his life. It goes away but is still hard because they constantly fight for mom's attention. You look great! Take care.
Do you need a nanny?? I'd be glad to help!!! :o)
I totally understand How you feel! ..Mimi and Kayla are kind of the same ages ( apart) of your girls. In my experience I learned that Kayla just wanted to sleep and eat until her 6 months...so I decided not to feel guilty and spended all the time I could with Mimi..until the time came. Then Kyla was getting fun enough for mimi to help me with her...and both of them loved to be with each other and mom. When I started to get to stressed out. I found a good friend of mine and we started doing swap mom for an hour or so. and it helped me and my girls too they needed time to be independant and played, and be without me. So pray a lot and God will help you to decide what things you can do that it will help you and the girls not to feel the stress. That's what I did...but you talked to God. He knows you and you will figure it out. Having time for your self is not bad!
I love you guys. I remember that feeling right before Eliza was born that Ian would never forgive us and the feeling right after she was born that I'd never be able to give her the time and attention that Ian had already had. We are all right, though. Not mentally, I mean. Mentally we are all a wreck, but we are healthy otherwise.
i'm glad you are doing great! i'm worried about the next baby coming along too, mainly b/c i'm not too excited going thru all the 1st yr baby stages--- i love my boys age & cuteness right now. i hope i can love the next one as much as these sweet little guys:)
You are a good mom and dad. Good luck on the next year. By the way I love Claire's face in that picture. She looks a little put out about something. Miss you as always
For me right now I am just thinking, "If I just keep them fed and clothed, 'oh well' if they hate me..."
You guys are just adorable and beautiful and I love you!...cute little family with your girls!
Your kids know you love them. I know it's easy to say "don't worry about it" but another thing to actually NOT really worry about it. But I know you are a fabulous mom who is devoted to her family. Your girls are lucky to have you!
Not that I have much more time in this adventure than you do, but I think the worries fade a bit as the younger one gets older and can fend for them self and make more of a space for them self in the family.
Anyway, you guys are doing an awesome job. Keep posting lots of pictures because I miss you and want to know how your gorgeous girls look as they get older and older!
We love you guys!
You are amazing. I am always in a state of almost being in jepordy of sinning because I very nearly worship you...and you know that God is a jealous God...so I try my best to not worship you, just love love love you and admire you.
Bridget turned 3 last week and my heart is broken. I don't have a second to compete for attention, but there is still something strange going on. She doesn't need me anymore. So, if you didn't have your sweet newborn right now, you may not be feeling the pain of not being able to be everything to both, you would however be feeling the pain of losing your baby and quite frankly, a piece of yourself.
My heart is always with you. *hugs*
Oh, ain't life grand? It is full of moments that make us smile and cry and rejoice and despair and feel guilty and feel perfect...I'm just trying to understand that even though I may be feeling one way at one moment, that it to shall pass and another adventure is right around the corner. Staying home with my kids has been hard...but as they are starting to go to school and leave home more and more, I long for those days when it was just "us". Thank you for the update and insights...we loved seeing you at the wedding. Your girls are amazing!
Four kids later the same emotional roller coaster of giving each child the attention they need is ride I jump on every morning. The ups and downs wrench my gut, make me cry, or thrill me to my toes. Best of luck Missy! We finally reduced Shanna's emotional outbursts to every 30 minutes because we gave her a "magical" necklace that helps her remember to control/contain/& use with discretion her crying and whining. I am having to dig deep on this whole raising a girl challenge. :)
Hey Missy! I just found your blog! What a cute family you have! We also have two little girls. They are so fun, but I definitely relate to those feeling right before we had our second. I was so worried that my oldest would feel hurt or jealous, but I think if you are really sensitive to it things go more smoothly. Anyway it is cool to see how you are doing. Good luck with your cute new baby!
-Rachel "formerly Welch"Lee
Hey girl heyyyy. So I said I would e-mail you, but then I realized i didn't have your e-mail address anymore after I had to change accounts. And then I realized I didn't have your phone number either!! Sooooo this was the only way i knew how to get ahold of you about lunch today!! Give me a call (541-556-3304) if you get this and we'll figure something out!!
You ARE doing the right thing to be at home. It's hard right now but you will never regret that decision. And don't worry about trying to give them each enough attention, the day will soon be there that they will have so much fun playing together they will forget they even have a mom....Mom who?
I love this. Can't wait to see you.
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